Wednesday, October 28, 2015

All who wander are (probably) lost

Can you be lost if you don't even know where you're going in the first place? I'm not talking physically lost (although I frequently am)--I'm talking mentally lost.

I feel like so many people have these great visions of their lives, and I don't. I go to class, I do my homework, I eat, I sleep. And I do it again and again every day. I'm not unhappy, but recently the uncertainty about my future has been a pressing weight on my mind.

I'm past the halfway point of my first semester of college, and I was really hoping I would have figured something out by now.

All throughout high school I hoped that something would just jump out at me and I would know what to do with my life. I picked a major I thought I might like at a college I loved and decided to hope for the best. And I'm happy--but I'm still lost.

Don't get me wrong, I have some things figured out.

I know that in my life I want to do my best to make the world a better place in whatever way I can. I know that someday I want to have a family. I know that no matter what happens I will find a way to live a good life. These things are certain to me. But ask me what kind of a job I want and I can't even begin to tell you. Ask me why I picked my major and I won't have the answer you're hoping for. Ask me what my career goals are and I won't be have much to say.

And for a long time I felt really bad about that. I felt like I was wasting my time or my energy. But the more people I meet and the more of the world I see, I know I am not alone in my confusion.

It doesn't matter if I know exactly what my dream job is at age 18. The world won't end if I take a different path than the one I started on.

All who wander are lost, so at least we can be lost together.


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